C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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