I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
