Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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