Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
