My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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