so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
