I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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