That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
barbara walters just said penis...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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