My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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