So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
