There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
