You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This baby is an asshole
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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