I hate your face
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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