yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
