Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Randomize
