Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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