somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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