High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
