ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
