Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
