dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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