your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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