Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
