Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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