Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
