So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I want to fling myself into the sun
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
