He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
