Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
