The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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