You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
