So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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