On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
