oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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