PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
