wat bout pragnant strippers??
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
