the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
