I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
