who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
