It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
