you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
