can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
