He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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