It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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