every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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