if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
