I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
