I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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