Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
