Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
