i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
