instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
